Ok so ever since I left Carters this past Sat I feel like its a brand new beginning. I miss not seeing the people I work with, but I dont miss working! I've had a great first week of it! I feel like I've accomplished so much already, and am setting myself up for success! :)
1. we got our taxes done! and it only took 1 day with very little fighting compared to normal. lol And we are getting back more than Brian said we were prolly gonna get, so thats always nice! lol
2. I've organized a few things that were in dire need of it! my closet (not all done, but a good start), and I had piles of paperwork to go through on my nightstand... finally went through and it looks brand new too!
3. I'm starting my workout (getting in shape and toning up!!) Started w/The Wii fit and doing some kinect.
4. Kids learning time first day was a little rough, but its gonna take some time for the kids and myself to get used to it. and I have high hopes that it will help eventually! I'm still finding out what works for each kid. Wesley is difficult bc he doesnt talk to me and has very little patience. I kinda worry that he'll have ADD or ADHD, but I think its too young to tell, so I'll just work with him and see how it goes!
5. I've gotten a good start and a plan made for Penn Foster (my online transcribing program)! I know I can do this, I'm almost done. Its just a matter of getting through it. and right now the transcribing takes a little time for me bc I havent memorized the terminology so that slows me down...
Overall things look like they are going my way... Of course I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. things dont stay good for too long, but I'll enjoy it while I can and keep my eyes peeled for anything I need to step up and handle. Taking it one day at a time towards my future goals!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Last weekend of craziness
So, as per my usual of late, I am confused and not sure which direction I'm headed. Yesterday was my son's b-day. I woke up and spent a short amount of time w/him, he opened his gift and whatnot before I had class (9-1). I dont really know what the hubs did w/the kids while I was gone, but we had lunch then nap time when I got home. and by nap time I mean all 4 of us slept till 4pm. kid or adult went to bed between 1-2pm. yeah, I guess we were all pretty tired. So, when we got up we skyped w/my parents and that was really cool. My daughter read a book to them!! Its always nice to see them, even if only on skype. so the hubby had gotten on his game, which sorta made me mad, until it pissed me off. He had already been a jerk to Sophia and told her she wasnt eating the rest of the day(at lunch) then wants me to sneak her food... well your just feeding the idea that mommy will let her get away w/stuff. Great job, making me look like a softy when I'm trying to get tougher... anyway, I was trying to figure out what to do for Wesley's b-day dinner. After much debate, and fighting, I ended up taking the kids by myself to McD's. I got Wes a happy meal and he got a Star Wars spin top toy. I thought it funny that it happened to be Star Wars! I was upset bc he was a punk about the whole thing. He wouldnt come w/me bc he didnt want to "know" that Sophia was getting food even though he told me to give her food bc he knew better and she needed it. She had been sick yesterday (threw up at least twice). anyway, just little things and how we raise the kids that are so different that makes me wonder if we can work this out....
So after the kids went to bed, Brian had been raiding(or at least on his game the whole time) and I got my planning done. So I tried to see what he wanted to do: watch a movie, show or something else. what does he suggest of me? "Or, I can read my book, you can get homework done." were his words. "you could work on Penn Foster." I just wanted to be like "Bitch, get off it, I know I have shit to do but that doesnt mean I have to work my ass off every min of every day per your request." A girl needs her down time, the chance to relax in the evening. I talked him into a movie (Old School). but then he kept me up till almost 2am... yelled at me about wearing my coat to go out in the wind saying that I'm missing the whole point of going out in the strong winds. well sorry that I'm cold enough and cant risk getting sick so I enjoyed going out in the wind, but its way too cold on the 2nd of March to go out at like 11:30pm w/out a coat. sorry I'm a little practical still.
Its when he starts wanting to change everything about me that I get frustrated. Whether it's my eating habits, other habits(dont get me started on farming--I do believe that he got more and is hiding it from me. really? I mean doesnt that look like your the one addicted dear? when Im the one accused and he's the one sneaking around to do it...), or sexual habits. nothing about me is what he wants. How do I do that? how do I try to keep who I am and make all these changes to make him happy? I know sometimes you have to compromise, but I feel like this is all one way and I'm tired of trying and putting forth effort when I see no change or worse changes in him.
BUT this is my last crazy weekend before my "freedom." and all I mean by that is my schedule of where I need to be is going to allow me the time to do the things I've wanted to, or needed to get done. I feel empowered to get things done, but I'm brought down by his actions and words sometimes.
anyway, today I have to work, as a favor, from 10 to 4, then I'm running all my errands and getting stuff ready for the party tomorrow. after the party tomorrow I will be able to start on my new routine and hopefully see some improvements in my life. Here's hoping for a fresh start!
So after the kids went to bed, Brian had been raiding(or at least on his game the whole time) and I got my planning done. So I tried to see what he wanted to do: watch a movie, show or something else. what does he suggest of me? "Or, I can read my book, you can get homework done." were his words. "you could work on Penn Foster." I just wanted to be like "Bitch, get off it, I know I have shit to do but that doesnt mean I have to work my ass off every min of every day per your request." A girl needs her down time, the chance to relax in the evening. I talked him into a movie (Old School). but then he kept me up till almost 2am... yelled at me about wearing my coat to go out in the wind saying that I'm missing the whole point of going out in the strong winds. well sorry that I'm cold enough and cant risk getting sick so I enjoyed going out in the wind, but its way too cold on the 2nd of March to go out at like 11:30pm w/out a coat. sorry I'm a little practical still.
Its when he starts wanting to change everything about me that I get frustrated. Whether it's my eating habits, other habits(dont get me started on farming--I do believe that he got more and is hiding it from me. really? I mean doesnt that look like your the one addicted dear? when Im the one accused and he's the one sneaking around to do it...), or sexual habits. nothing about me is what he wants. How do I do that? how do I try to keep who I am and make all these changes to make him happy? I know sometimes you have to compromise, but I feel like this is all one way and I'm tired of trying and putting forth effort when I see no change or worse changes in him.
BUT this is my last crazy weekend before my "freedom." and all I mean by that is my schedule of where I need to be is going to allow me the time to do the things I've wanted to, or needed to get done. I feel empowered to get things done, but I'm brought down by his actions and words sometimes.
anyway, today I have to work, as a favor, from 10 to 4, then I'm running all my errands and getting stuff ready for the party tomorrow. after the party tomorrow I will be able to start on my new routine and hopefully see some improvements in my life. Here's hoping for a fresh start!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)